did you get engaged???
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
