he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
So squirting runs in the family.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
