I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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