oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
