I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
