Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
