Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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