Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
