Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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