bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize