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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize