I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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