dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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