i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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