I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
