my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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