How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
