Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
