I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
