its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
