I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
