he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
