i think my mom watched the whole time
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
