do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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