um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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