frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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