What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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