Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
