DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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