You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
