What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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