Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
