Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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