Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
