Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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