No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
