So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
