I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
