I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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