I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize