That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
