She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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