It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Four minutes until I can fart!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
