Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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