i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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