Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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