I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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