party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
