Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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