Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have aggressive nipples.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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