Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You made out with two different species that night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When are your genitals available?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
