Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize