it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
