So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
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