Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
