im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize