Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
