Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
