we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
