I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Duck Duck Cougar?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
