we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
