Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
