For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Never underestimate the power of titties
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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