how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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