also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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