Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
